Second Chances: An Option Valid Only For Some Couples

Surely you know that couple who has broken up and dated again more than once. They try, but in the end those second chances that happen seem to not work. So much so, that second chances become third, fourth, fifth, until they end up giving up trying. Maybe trying again is not an option for them.

Second chances are not an alternative that can work for all couples  since it contains, at times, a lot of resentment. Unresolved problems or other circumstances that, no matter how hard we try, we will not be able to overcome.

Many times, giving yourself another chance works very well, it even improves the relationship. But this is because the two people in the relationship have been able to make the most of the time they have been apart. This is not done by all couples, which is why the most common is that afterwards the relationship does not work equally.

Second chances don’t usually work

Why don’t second chances usually work? For one simple reason, couples come back for the wrong reasons. These can range from need, to the emptiness they feel from having spent so many years sharing their life with someone. All of this can mean that they suffer from emotional dependence, a problem that affects many people today.

If you go back to your partner for the wrong reasons, it is impossible for your relationship to move forward. You have given yourself another chance because you felt alone, because you found yourself unable to continue with your life after leaving it, because you could not tolerate the sadness or overcome the breakup.

You miss your partner because you are not able to be alone and this is negative. The problems that led to the breakup will still be there, will arise again and will plunge you back into a toxic relationship where you will be anything but happy.

You need your partner because you are afraid of loneliness and that feeling of emptiness that approaches you when you extend your arms in bed and do not touch anyone, when you are carrying bags and nobody is carrying any, when nobody hits and peels your lips.

Perhaps you have made the big mistake of leaving all your happiness in the hands of your partner and now it is taking its toll on you. You are not able to start your life alone, to see beyond your relationship. You believe that without that person your life has no future and no hope of moving forward. What you don’t know is that you can be happy alone, what’s more, you have to spend some time alone.

If you take advantage of the time that you are without your partner, you can discover and see your relationship in another way, from different perspectives. In this way, you can check if you have done well, if you deserve a second chance or if the breakup was the most sensible thing on the part of both of you.

The better half does not exist

Couples who give themselves second chances and these work is because they have been able to enjoy all that time they have been without their partner. They have taken it as an opportunity to reflect, to see everything from another angle and to think things through before making a wrong decision.

These types of couples know that they are life partners, but that they are also individual beings and that their happiness does not depend on the other, but on themselves. Therefore, they are not afraid of being alone. They choose to share their life with the other person, not for the other person to be the breath of their lives.

But, in many relationships there is still the belief that the other half exists and this causes us to crave to be in a relationship. But, make no mistake, we need to be in a couple, not fall in love. These are two very different things that cause that, sometimes, we believe that we are in love when in reality what we want is just someone by our side.

But, the second chances also depend on the previous problems that have led us to the breakup. Let’s imagine that it is an infidelity. If the person cannot overcome this terrible disappointment, trying again would be a waste of time. Without wanting to, he would recriminate certain things to his partner, he would not trust her and he would doubt everything. This would not be positive for either of them.

Therefore, before giving yourself another chance, it is important that you solve your problems. Losses not only for couples, but also for individuals. In this way you can restart the relationship, without grudges and knowing that you are independent beings and that you are not together because you do not know how to be alone. Only in this way will second chances be successful.