Kindness In The Couple

Being happy with another person is not as simple as consulting an instruction manual, especially when the years go by. We must not forget that a relationship is like a garden that we must continually care for and that thrives on effort and dedication. However, according to some research, kindness in the couple is an important element that reinforces the bond created.

Who doesn’t go out of his way to show his best qualities at the beginning of a relationship? In the beginning, most people worry about the well-being of their partner, about having details with her and about taking care of the bond that binds them to them. However, little by little, attention is fading and routines and customs begin to enter the scene.

Thus, one stops surprising and impressing the other, having those details that generated astonishment and, sometimes, attitudes of affection lose importance or disappear. The problem is that this situation can be the beginning of a deterioration in the relationship. Let’s go deeper.

Why is it important to be kind to your partner?

Generally, kindness is one of the traits we value most in other people. According to surveys, this feature is attractive to both men and women. However, once we are immersed in a relationship with a partner, it is common for us to stop behaving with that sensitivity towards the other person.

Unless we are in a toxic relationship, it is normal that we like to be an important support for the other person. However, monotony can make us lose, to some extent, the perspective that we originally had. As the saying goes, “trust sucks”, but if we want to maintain a good relationship, we cannot allow this popular saying to come true.

For all this, it is necessary to make a conscious and continuous effort to maintain the quality of our interactions with the other person.

How to keep your partner kind

Cultivating kindness in your partner is essential to maintaining a healthy long-term bond. Next, we explain some keys to this.

Practice unconditional acceptance

Sometimes we secretly wish the other person to change to suit our wishes or standards. That is, in some way we want it to be different from what it is. The problem is that this attitude can lead us to feel great frustration, since the other will not always act as we expect, in fact, if he did, he would cease to be himself.

Learning to love the other as he is, to accept his way of being, is essential if we want to maintain a relationship as a couple. Of course, this does not mean that we have to accept disrespectful behavior or that causes us suffering. There are insurmountable limits.

Now, it is important that we bear in mind that the other person acts in the best way that he knows according to his experience -except for toxic and abusive relationships. As a general rule, most of us do not act with malicious intent. Therefore, it is best to try to understand it and talk about what we feel uncomfortable with.

Keeping this in mind helps nurture a kind attitude towards the other, even in the most difficult moments.

Offer support

One of the most frequent problems in couple relationships, especially if they have been together for some time, is the scarcity of acts of love that they demonstrate for each other. Thus, it is easy that, at a certain point, one member of the relationship may feel that the other is not listening or not caring. Therefore, it is important to make sure that the other person knows that we are there for them.

According to the theory of the five love languages ,  each individual feels valued differently from how others feel valued. For some, physical contact is the most important thing; for others, what makes them feel special are words of support or feeling heard …

For this reason, increasing kindness in the relationship involves striving to discover what makes the other person feel loved, to try to offer it as much as possible and with the appropriate frequency.

Of course, these two keys are not the only valid clues to improve this aspect of the relationship. However, applying them has a positive influence. However, we cannot forget that the most important thing is that there is commitment, respect and love in the relationship on the part of its members and be aware that effort and mutual care are necessary.