I Want A Hug So Strong That It Breaks My Fears
The hugs that are not asked, that assail us and that surround us, have great healing power. Human beings are social creatures threaded by emotions, and we need that daily contact with which to reaffirm our relationships and at the same time, feel loved, loved. And a hug is a good remedy for it.
In our space we speak to you very often about the need to learn to be alone, to avoid that type of unhealthy attachments that sometimes tie us to things and people to the point of vetoing our personal growth. However, everything has its balance and its reason for being.
We all need to be attached to something or someone in some way no matter how much we resist. We all have wings with which to fly, but also roots in which to hold ourselves to love, to enrich ourselves with those relationships that also define us: friends, family, partner, children …
The hug is a bond of love and security
Hugs, as well as physical contact, are part of our psychological well-being and also of our development. Although a large part of living beings need that contact with which to relate to their own, in the case of humans the need to caress, hug and feel skin to skin, also fulfills other dimensions that are worth knowing.
Our social brain needs hugs and caresses
When we come to the world our brain, far from being mature, has only developed 25%. The rest of the structures and neuronal junctions will be determined above all by those first 5 years of life in which the parenting style will be decisive.
We have to think that during those first months of life there is no language, and communication is established through emotions, those caresses, those kisses, those hugs and that warm voice that attends and offers security.
If a child is not cared for when he cries, if he is not calmed, rocked and cared for with sincere love, all this creates stress. A brain used to secreting cortisol is a brain that will not develop optimally.
Social isolation or the deprivation of caresses during a child’s early life causes many brain cells not to mature into the white matter of the brain. In turn, less myelin will also be produced, which is essential for neurons to communicate with each other. All of this would lead to certain cognitive delays, as well as social and emotional deficits.
The importance of hugs in relationships
The power of a hug is sometimes more important than words. Non-verbal language has a direct impact on our emotional world, and in our relationships with the couple it has an even more special significance if it is accompanied by physical contact.
Something as simple and elemental as a hug provides an immense sense of fulfillment for the one who gives it and the one who receives it. Both win and it is considered in turn as a gesture capable of nourishing our brain, capable of providing us, at any given moment, more benefits than the food itself.
Hugs are not requested, they are not a bargaining chip nor are they required. It is also worth bearing in mind that not all hugs are the same, if they come from that person whom we love and who lives in our heart, then our brain will release oxytocin, that hormone related to well-being and pleasure.
Nothing acquires as much meaning as a hug in times of doubt or emotional discomfort, there when fears and anxieties visit us. Feeling wrapped with strength, love and sincerity by that special person, almost instantly appeases that cold of the soul, to show us that everything is fine . That the world is calm.
As we indicated before, it is important to always maintain that self-love and avoid exaggerated attachments that do not allow space for personal growth, we know it. However, at the couple level, these types of gestures are vital to reaffirm the relationship itself, because we all need to feel safe and receive while demonstrating protection.
At the end of the day it is about being two building the same unit. So, do not save on hugs, do not leave them for tomorrow or allow your partner to ask you. Practice the “bear hug”, the one with great strength that takes your breath away but, in turn, transmits messages such as
And do not neglect the heart hug either, where tenderness flows directly from this organ and where there is eye contact. It is a long and sublime hug, of pure and unconditional love …
Images Courtesy: Shaun Tan, Lucy Campbell, PEIBEE, Kyungduk Kim
