Building Our Identity
Constructing the essence of our identity is increasingly complex, living in the world of overinformation, where stimuli and contradictory messages are constant.
In order not to overload ourselves with information, we have the defense mechanism of introjection, which consists of the automatic incorporation of what we receive from the environment, without there being any type of personal criteria.
Shaping our identity: introjection
Introjection is something that to a greater or lesser degree we are all exposed to experience, in fact to some extent it is necessary, as we will now see; the problem lies when this mechanism takes over.
In our day to day to integrate into society we are continually exposed to abiding by rules, laws, behaviors, ideas, beliefs and patterns of conduct. Since we are children we have been inundated with all kinds of these elements.
Already in a family environment we have received messages of all kinds, which today, resonate in our heads and when we do not comply with these messages we feel guilty.
Messages such as: “You have to work on something important to be someone in life”, “think badly and you will be right”, “men don’t cry”, etc.
These mandates tell us what is good and what is bad, thus conditioning our behavior and configuring our identity.
What is introjection for?
Introjection is also a means to please the people who are in our environment, so that it has, in principle, an adaptation function to be accepted.
When the introjection mechanism guides our lives, it becomes dangerous to our identity. We begin to lose our essence and our own original way of being.
When we act through the introjection mechanism, we are incorporating everything that is good for others, the expectations with which they have loaded us, of what they expect of us. The messages we receive are part of their needs, regardless of our own.
This is how we make the thoughts of other people our own, without questioning what they have transmitted to us, swallowing without digesting all the mandates that direct our lives and building our destiny.
In this way, our own way of being, and the essence of our identity, does not develop, we lose ourselves under the introjection mechanism, which moves us to please the expectations that others have of us.
However, introjection also has a creative aspect, which prompts us to draw what is useful from what we have learned, to make it our own, collecting the positive values that we wish to integrate into our identity.
How to make introjection a useful resource?
The adaptive function of introjection helps us to take other people into account and to be able to incorporate other ideas and beliefs, learning from traditions and popular wisdom.
In order not to let this mechanism rule our lives, and end up building our destiny based on what others think and want, it is essential to become aware.
It is an important step in our lives to become aware of under what circumstances, at what times, and with what kind of people we have the tendency to act in an automatic way, without the filter that helps us to distinguish what is part of our values and identity.
Realizing the messages that we receive from the medium without questioning and without analyzing, we will be more alert to transform these messages into a useful resource, being able to reflect on them, and get the learning that best suits us.
By questioning and analyzing everything that comes to us from outside, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to make deeper choices that are consistent with our way of thinking, feeling and understanding life.
We will be being the architects of our own life, building our destiny based on the choices we make and the lessons we decide to take, according to the circumstances we live in.
For this, it is essential to assimilate and pass through the personal filter everything we learn, facilitating the development and expression of one’s being.
