The Migratory Duel

It is possible that you have emigrated – or are going to emigrate soon – to some other country, for study or work reasons, during a prolonged or indefinite stay. In these cases, it is common to face migratory grief, which takes place by leaving home, family and friends behind.

Have you thought about what would happen if you separated yourself from today and indefinitely from your closest family and friends? If tomorrow you woke up in a different land than yours, where customs and ways of life are completely different? What if when you wanted to express how you feel about so many changes, the language, accent or vocabulary of others were different from yours and you couldn’t find a way? These are common situations in which this type of disorder is generated.

The situation of mourning before a loss

When there is a loss situation, our brain begins to make a series of emotional and cognitive adaptations. These adaptations are necessary to be able to elaborate and accommodate what will be our new reality.

It is what we call “grief. ” Therefore, some manifestations or symptoms of this adaptation process appear. Some examples are loss of appetite, anxiety, or sleep-related problems. In turn, emotions emerge that we experience as negative, such as sadness or anger.

In the case of migratory grief, this malaise does not usually appear at the beginning, when we have just left our land and we are still closing procedures and extensive paperwork in what will be our new home. That is, when our attention is still focused on what is urgent to integrate ourselves in the best possible way.

Instead, some time after leaving our homeland, is when we really begin to focus on ourselves. This is the reason why the migratory grief is also called the 6-month disease -which is usually considered as the adaptation period-, although it receives other names from popular culture, such as the well-known homelessness of the Galicians or melancholy and nostalgia for poets.

Multiple duels

Since emigrating involves adding several losses, we would actually be talking about multiple duels. These are the loss of home, the loss of loved ones and relationships, the loss of a job, and, perhaps the biggest cause of distress, the loss of identity. In addition, many times emigration is motivated by economic precariousness, a situation of violence in the country of origin, wars, persecution, etc. These are reasons in themselves quite aggravating the situation of discomfort.

For all this, if you plan to go to some distant place soon, if you have just settled in what will be your host country or if you know someone in this situation, we show you below some tips so that adaptation is the most positive and profitable possible.

How to make a positive adaptation

Do not idealize either the host country or the return to your country

Creating false expectations about the country of destination can mean that you end up very disenchanted with your new home. The best thing is not to make expectations, to be able to analyze later in a more objective way the good and the bad of the country. On the other hand, it is not advisable to idealize the return to your country, thinking that everything will be better than before.

From my own experience, I have lived in Norway for a year now and I have come to realize that we idealize the Nordic countries excessively. Of course, there are many things that are done well, and many positive aspects when living there, but everywhere there are problems that can affect us to a greater or lesser extent.

Normalize the situation

Be aware that life is an ever-changing process. Emigration has existed since the origins of humanity, and that now you are forced, for one reason or another, to go to another country, does not mean that in the future you will not be able to return home, or perhaps move to a different country , so that you can get to know more different cultures.

With these tips it will be easier to control the stress levels generated by moving and the process of integration and adaptation to another country, so that this migratory duel does not have such strong effects on us.