How To Overcome The Fear Of Rejection
People can be afraid of losing comfort in our life, that our health will deteriorate, that our social status will decline, that we will run out of money, lose our loved ones or even give up our youth. But also, although it is not recognized so easily, we are afraid of rejection.
There is a kind of need to receive social approval from others. And is that most people like and need to fit in with others.
In fact, a study from the University of Michigan has found that your body releases the same substances when you suffer social rejection as when you take a hit. This occurs because the body’s pain-relieving circuit is activated during rejection as it does when reacting to a physical assault.
Seeking safety in other people is often a dead end. What you really need to find is security within yourself, not in others. Because if not, any look, word or action of other people can be distorted and mistakenly interpreted as something very close to rejection, when perhaps it is not.
How to deal with the fear of rejection
It is important to recognize that this fear of rejection is there, it exists. That is the first step – not an easy one – to start taking steps to deal with and overcome it. How to deal with it then?
1. Realize what’s going on
Introspection can help you. Look inside yourself and reflect on your belief in how possible rejection can influence your behavior and your actions. That is, if you go thinking that they are going to reject you, it will end up happening.
You cannot change behaviors if you really do not want to or are not aware of what is happening. Look for signs, but not only of what is wrong, but also of what is working. You must be objective and see both sides of the scale.
2. Think about how you want to feel
The person who feels rejected constantly thinks about it, that he does not want to feel that way, about the reasons why he is rejected. But it is an unhelpful vision, because it skews the totality of reality. It only lets you see a small part of what is actually there.
Do not think that you do not want to be rejected, but that the less you do it, the more relaxed and sure of yourself you will show and be. The confidence you have will make you see things differently and overcome that fear of rejection.
3. Reflect on how that fear of rejection began
It is likely that during your school years you have felt rejected, as excluded from the whole group. If that’s the case, close your eyes and think about everything you’ve learned since then. Imagine yourself as a calm child without fear of rejection. Visualize yourself as a calm person, telling that child not to worry, that everything is going to be fine.
Although it may seem strange, this simple exercise has a great impact on how you understand how you felt as a child and helps to alleviate those moments. Knowing the origin of fear can be the first step to stop it.
4. Above all, constructive imagination
Close your eyes and use your imagination to feel and visualize your behavior in situations where you would normally feel insecure.
5. Don’t assume anything
Questioning is learning. Reflection is not bad. Rather, it can help you act the way you are. Therefore, do not be so sure what is going to happen, or what you know. This way you can relax and take into account the possibility that there may be bad or good results. It should not always be assumed that there will be rejection.
Not knowing is the key to being confident and enjoying life. Nobody knows what is going to happen, or what others really think. We cannot predict the behavior of others, because each one reacts differently in different situations and to different people. Therefore, try to be sure of yourself and learn to relax… Everything will be better.
