9 Things That People With Self-control Do Very Well

There are the apple and the chocolate cake and, although you have promised not to touch more food than those in your diet, your hands nervously slide towards the most appetizing portion of your refrigerator.

That night you were celebrating your best friend’s birthday and you hung out with drinks and you even ended up waking up next to someone you don’t know or driving your car drunk …

Do these situations sound familiar to you? Often a proposed long-term goal (eg losing weight) conflicts with immediate pleasures (chocolate cake). However, the immediate and momentary enjoyment of certain pleasures can harm us and damage our goals, as well as the motivation to stick with them.

But how can we succumb to temptation when we are fully committed to what we want to achieve?

It seems that our impulsive system searches the environment in search of stimuli that guarantee us pleasure, values ​​them and determines our behavior (going in search of the piece of chocolate cake). Obviously, the magnitude of these impulses is not the same at each moment or in each person, but is a function of multiple circumstances and dispositions. For this reason, for example, it is recommended that we do not go to the supermarket hungry.

On the other hand, we have our reflective system, which acts by planning and elaborating the consequences of our behavior. Thinking about what we are going to do requires many resources and capacity, but at the same time it is costly, it is profitable since if we do it regularly, going to the gym will become a habit and not an eternal dilemma when we have the sofa at our feet. .

So is a person with self-control born or made?

Well, a person with self-control is done and that is why we can learn a lot from people who have managed to quit tobacco, lose weight, train for a marathon or study competitive examinations. However, it is not necessary that the goals be so exemplary, we can take note of these tips to achieve any type of goal that we set ourselves.

What are these people doing?

1. They become aware of the risks and negative consequences that harmful behavior can entail. Thus, for example, they develop “if … then” rules. This is: ” if I eat a piece of cake, then I will not be able to maintain my weekly weight loss goal”, “if I am offered a cigarette, then I will decline it”, “if I do not train today, then I will lose the opportunity to accumulate progress ”, Etc… The fact that we have imagined a critical situation in which we respond appropriately can be very useful in order not to deviate from our path.

2. They increase their personal commitment by explaining to their environment what their objectives and action plan are. These people agree in the fact that they affirm that verbally elaborating their strategy to tell others about it reinforces their goals and manages to eliminate unnecessary distractions.

3. They transform their abstract objectives into small steps or tasks that they have to accomplish. That is: this week I am going to try to stabilize the loss of that half a kilo, I am going to go to the gym one more day or I am going to take a 2 hour walk 5 days a week.

4. They are happy about partial achievements and the achievement of their goals. Yes, not having already lost the 10 kilos they wanted does not mean agony for them to think about everything that lies ahead. Every gram, every cigarette without smoking, every kilometer traveled means one or more smiles.

5. They also use the “if… then” strategy to build purpose and replace old habits with new ones.

6. They modify their impulses by establishing an association between the external aspect of the temptation with something.  For example: the image of a slice of chocolate cake is associated with a tallow ball, the gin bottle with a car accident, etc.

7. They train their memory. Yes, it may seem strange but, the more questions we can keep present and accessible in our mind, the better we can make our decisions.

8. They reflect on situations that pose a great risk to health and try to avoid them.

9. They try to take enough breaks and moments of rest to be able to restore their mental resources and their motivation. It is especially important that, faced with the exhaustion of constantly fighting against our impulses, there are times when we give ourselves a break and allow ourselves a whim or detour. However, this must be scheduled and agreed with ourselves, always as far as possible and being flexible.

Ultimately, the path of self-control goes through controlling our temptations and taking advantage of our strengths. The next time you come across a dilemma between an immediate situation and a long-term goal, don’t forget to imagine your reflective system and your impulsive system fighting each other. Which one deserves to win the battle?