Heartbreak, The Vertigo Of A Feeling That Does Not Pass Through The Soul
Heartbreak That downhill in which the greatest fear is to feel the deepest loneliness, the one that is no longer occupied by any illusion. That feeling of heartbreaking emptiness when an intimacy that connected you with the world disappeared. Falling out of love is that terrifying vertigo of seeing the ideal formed by the other person collapse as explained in the Alfred Hitchcock film Vertigo .
Heartbreak is the fear that our loved one will fall from the heights and we will witness it, without being able to stop it. It is that process in which there are no remedies or scaffolding to sustain it for longer up there, in the place where it fulfilled an exquisite function in our mind: to put us safe from the reality that we could see in front of. Like the protagonist of this movie.
Faced with this situation, we prefer to flee or to continue to maintain a framework in our mind that puts our loved one safe, a loved one who already exists only as his own creation in the imagination. Love is already a fabrication of our fantasy, of what we would like it to be …
Heartbreak sometimes resists surrendering to reality, but when it does, there is no solution to the trauma of separation. We can no longer turn pain into magic. It really is over.
The devastating feeling of heartbreak
Many of us would have preferred that love stories that snatched our souls did not return to the scene. Either not to realize that there is a limit that cannot be surpassed or to not come to know that the lack of reciprocity no longer produces intrigue or mystery, but rather boredom and deep disappointment.
Out of love. That feeling that the other was never what we thought. That what you thought was a reciprocated love was only one more story for the other party. That emptiness of seeing oneself in a relationship in which the other appears more and more like a stranger to crumble and feel that hole in the stomach beat that no longer cares for reasons or illusions.
When this happens it is as if we had a stake in our heart, a bandage dropped in our hands that paralyzes us. We have fallen out of love because once and for all we have seen the person as he is, without passing the filter of how we want him to be. We see the path that we have left in a flat, lifeless way. Love is dizzying when it is no longer so, falling from the heights of our imagination and not finding ground or land to tie up. Maybe because it never really existed … or because it just went off.
We like to build images of love in our minds. Sometimes because reality is unbearable, there is a trauma that we live alone or a deep disappointment. Before facing that vertigo of coarse and asphalted and flat daily life, we turn it around. The unsurpassed reality, we wrap it in coated paper and transform it into fantasy.
With these ideas of how we want the other to be, not how they really are, we endure marriages and illusions of platonic love affairs, unfinished stories that at some point will return to their course. We have even created so many scenarios that sometimes we have ignored wonderful realities. People who loved us, pampered us, who would never really leave us in the gutter.
Real love gives vertigo, but at the same time it makes you enjoy reality without imagining it
Of course, love needs mysteries, not being a lover of the explicit, keeping words and truths that do not always have to be revealed, only when looks and silences demand it. Sometimes words are the pinnacle of a feared and postponed reality, of something that had to be brought to light, once stored as an internal treasure.
There are the most diverse love stories, but if you think that yours corresponds to what you have imagined 90% of the time, we have a problem. There are stories that jump in time but that finally go from the puerile state, that evolve, that go from the image made perfect in the imagination to the imperfect but exciting and uncontrollable reality. But this can only be achieved if you have the courage to step in time before it is too late.
