Can You Ask For Forgiveness?

We all make mistakes, we screw up and we make mistakes. Usually when this happens we quickly realize: just as we do or say, we also have an evaluation mechanism that we put in place almost automatically and that urges us to apologize.

Sometimes our failures hurt or go against the people we love, no matter how contradictory it may seem. Who has not ever hurt with a comment out of tune, with an unfounded accusation, has judged someone without having the least right to do so or has paid an anger with himself with the first person he has met.

When this happens and we realize it, we often face the task of asking for forgiveness or apology. Something that seems so simple from the outside often becomes a complicated process: we may think that by asking for forgiveness we are not only acknowledging our failure but also showing our weakness.

It can also happen that the person who has received the damage has hurt us before and has not apologized . Why should we make that effort if the other person has not?

Other times it is the circumstances themselves, we simply do not coincide with the person we have harmed; sometimes shame also acts as a limiting barrier. Finally, a reason that can be joined to the previous ones is that we do not know how to do it.

Thus, a good apology has three parts

If you want to learn to ask for forgiveness in the right way, you should know that doing it well consists of 3 parts that cannot be deleted. Each of them has its importance. Which of these 3 parts is the one that costs you the most?

1. sorry

When you apologize you tell the other person that having hurt them in some way has hurt you too, that it is not what you wanted to happen and that if you could go back you would do it differently.

With this part, you somehow open the empathic channel with the other person and prepare a channel for dialogue in which the main protagonists are the feelings. If you achieve this, you will be able to access the depths of the wound that you have caused and heal it from the depths

2. I was wrong

When you apologize, you take responsibility for what happened. You assume that it was you and not someone else who bears the responsibility for what happened. This part reflects the maturity of the person who apologizes and the person who receives it transmits confidence.

3. How do I correct it?

Sometimes the damage we have done cannot be repaired immediately, but other times it can and many times we do not know how to do it. Voluntarily restoring the injured person or showing the willingness to do so will show them that we give them all the importance they deserve.

Many times it is only time, the injured person needs to know that the apology that we are making is not a mere formality or a way to put earth on the matter and consider it as soon as old water.

If your forgiveness contains these three parts, you will have a much better chance that it will be effective and that the person who receives it understands and feels comforted by what you want to convey. Sometimes we throw words out because we have learned to say them that way. “I love you”, “I’m sorry”, are some of the most used and that end up losing their meaning.

Asking for forgiveness in the proper way will let the person to whom it is addressed know that we are truly sorry, that we mean it from the heart and that we are willing not to do the same again.

Do not be afraid

Don’t be afraid to ask for forgiveness. It is a healing process with oneself and with others. Asking for forgiveness is not a sign of being weak or of being less than anyone else. On the contrary, the act of asking for forgiveness shows courage. When we ask for forgiveness we are afraid because we think that we have done something wrong, so we can interpret it as that we are imperfect.

A mental phrase that runs through our minds, consciously or unconsciously, can be the following: “If I apologize, I have made a mistake, and if I have made a mistake it is because I have made a mistake, and if I make a mistake it is because I am imperfect.” Tolerance for error is low because many interpret it as a synonym for low personal worth. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Admitting a mistake and asking for forgiveness is the best way to grow and evolve.