Have You Fallen In Love With A Person Or An Illusion?

It has ever happened to all of us that after a few years different behaviors and habits of our partner begin to bother us. Being with your feet on the table, being so ironic … But if we look back, we already met that person being like that, what happens is all this went unnoticed. The reason is that we had fallen in love with an illusion.

The infatuation phase can wreak real havoc. It makes us blind and takes our reason to the point of dreaming that we are capable of doing anything crazy for the other person. Someone we see as perfect. But what we are not realizing is that this is not real. This perfection only exists in our thoughts. Reality is being adulterated by our emotions, expectations and illusions. It is not as we are seeing it.

Be in love with an illusion

When we believe that a person has changed over time, what we should ask ourselves is whether we saw them as they were from the beginning. The answer is most likely “no.” During the beginning of any relationship, we create an image that makes us perceive unmatched beauty, perfection, and wonder .

Now, nobody is perfect, this should be assumed. However, that image that we create in our mind of the other person, the result of a deep infatuation, happens to be part of our reality during that time. So we end up believing our own lie, ignoring any attitude that bothers us or does not like us. In fact, this is one of the reasons many people repeat harmful relationship patterns.

Juan’s story

Juan was very confused and fed up. He was hesitant to continue with the relationship or to cut it off altogether. Everything had exploded. Suddenly, it seemed that he didn’t like the other person at all. His complaints, his manias … Everything was twitching. He wanted to see the situation from another perspective to see what had really happened, but he was unable to.

What happened to Juan was that at first everything was wonderful. He saw his partner as a beautiful, perfect, responsible and very good being. However, over time and without really knowing why everything changed. The person with whom he had fallen in love had very bad days that Juan found unbearable. Mood swings, absurd complaints …

Juan’s partner was not comfortable with the relationship or did not know how to manage what was happening to him outside, for example stress at work. However, the problem was that when Juan spoke to his friends about this situation, he seemed to be referring to two totally different people. So much so that, in reality, they didn’t even exist. They weren’t real.

Juan did not see his partner as he was, he never did. At first, the illusion he had with the relationship only allowed him to see someone perfect. His feelings prevented him from seeing any flaws. Now, he wasn’t seeing his partner as he was either. His emotions prevented him again. Juan had never known who he was really with.

Learn to see others

Learning to see others as they are is difficult, but not impossible. Isn’t it true that with a friend we don’t usually have as many expectations as with a partner? The same goes for siblings, if we have them. We see these people as they are, with their lights and their shadows.

However, when we start a relationship with another person at first we usually only see their lights. But, over time, we focus only on its shadows. This causes a mess and causes the relationship to transform very dramatically.

The important thing is to be aware that when we fall in love, the image of the other is distorted towards perfection. S aber this happens and take it into account during this period opens the door to another reality, the one where the person is a set of lights and shadows. In addition, it is important to keep in mind that just as the other has certain attitudes and behaviors that we love, there will also be others that we do not fully share.

We should not blame ourselves for falling in love with an illusion. Many of our beliefs about romantic love make this happen. But, the moment we realize this and are aware, we can do something to change it. Have you ever fallen in love with an illusion?