Value Those Who Seek You And Love Those Who Do Not Let You Go
As Bernabé Tierno says in his book “Apprentice of the Wise”, no one can question the need for love, such as the need for food, air, light, water or sun. Love is a spontaneous and natural feeling, therefore, do not forget: value those who seek you and love those who do not let you go.
It is as incoherent to demand the love of another person as it is to forbid a person to love us, since all love derives from spontaneity and our inner freedom. We cannot control what we feel, or the feelings we provoke in other people.
When we love we do it with our whole being, our intelligence, our body, our senses and, of course, our heart. It is something irresistible, which contains beauty and sometimes pain, but which always teaches us to know ourselves.
Value who shows interest in you
Sometimes it is accepted that love is suffering, that to love you have to suffer, but it is a wrong belief that takes us away from a healthy and balanced relationship. Love and share, enjoy as a couple. Love but also keep your space, remain yourself.
With friends and with partners we accept situations in which we always have to show interest ourselves, in which only we say “I love you”, in which it seems that only we want to share things with the other person.
It is very difficult to accept that if someone does not call you it is because they do not want to talk to you, that if they are looking for excuses not to meet, it is because they do not want to see you and that if they do not say “I love you” it is because they do not feel it.
Our ego does not accept that they ignore us and looks for excuses such as “He will be busy”, “He has not heard the phone”, “He does not tell me that he loves me out of fear”, but it is important to be realistic, see the situation as it is: yes someone does not love us or does not value us, we cannot force them to do so.
On the contrary, if someone shows interest in us, worries, calls us, writes to us, we must value that interest, that sincere demonstration of affection and respect. A spontaneous show of affection is something that comes from the heart, which makes us reflect on what is really important.
Love who wants to be by your side
A person who really wants to be by your side calls you to know how you are, is with you in difficult moments, looks you in the eyes and listens carefully to what you have to say, respects you and values you for who you are, admires you and shows it to you. Ultimately, he loves you.
If someone wants to be by your side, they are and day by day you can count on each other, be it a partner or a friend. If you want to spend time with someone, you find them and share moments without looking at the clock, letting the hours go by without realizing it.
In the case of a couple, as Walter Riso maintains, it is important that when we love we know how to differentiate, “being one”, which cancels the particular to integrate into a whole, from ” being emotionally united” which implies having a bond in which each person maintains their peculiarities and their differences.
Seek reciprocity in your relationships
For a love affair or a relationship with a friend to work, there must be a basic exchange. Walter Riso makes an analogy with the thought of Aristotle and Saint Thomas in their “Practical Guide to not die of love” and says that a just love is one that combines both distributive justice (distributing burdens and benefits proportionally between the members of the couple ), as commutative justice (avoid fraud and fraud in any of its forms).
For Riso, a relationship is based on reciprocity when: the affective and material exchange is balanced and fair, privileges are distributed equitably, access to rights and duties is equal between the two people, neither member tries to take advantage or exploit the other and neither thinks they deserve more than the other.
