“To The Mothers Who Take Their Children Away From Him, They Are Creating The Bullies Of The Future”

This letter talks about autism. From the reality that accompanies thousands of families. From the fear of the unknown. Of the rejection of society. From the autism puzzle. From the pain of thousands of mothers and fathers around the world.

But, above all, it speaks of the pain of a child, of misunderstanding and abandonment. It speaks of the lost and irrecoverable, of the need to take a turn and rethink our attitudes. It speaks of inclusion from the cradle, not of integration.

This is the letter written by the mother of a child with autism from her facebook page “My Boy Blue”. In it, the child is identified with blue, the color with which autism is identified to sensitize society. Why has it become a symbol? Because it represents what families and people living with autism experience every day.

The letter from “My Boy Blue” to make us all reflect

“ When I created this page I promised myself that this year I would make people understand autism. My main wish for this year is to make the “judges” understand. When you discover that you are going to be a mom, you dream of having your baby for the first time, you dream of dressing them, obsessing over their every move. You dream of their first word, the first time they will clap their hands, the first time they say goodbye and of course their first steps. All “normal” things .

Well, in my house these things are far from normal. Yes, we had some of them, but they have disappeared. Words were lost, milestones lost, and many tears were cried along the way. And it’s not because he’s lazy. He is not acting. My little one is like your son, he loves to dance, he loves to be hugged, he cries when he falls, and he adores Mickey.

However, it is “wired differently . ” The little things that we take for granted every day are the hardest things for him. Different lights, sounds, smells, or even the appearance of something can cause an overload that is too difficult for my toddler.

“Normal things” like shopping, playing in a children’s play area, or even a haircut can be excruciating for him. To the people who look at him because he hums, join in his little song, because in his eyes he is singing the best song in the world.

To the mothers who take their children away from him, they are creating the bullies of the future. Children do not notice the differences, they just want to play, let them. To the lady who called him bold at the grocery store, try to look at things from her perspective.

Children in need are the bravest, and most amazing people in this world. They are fighting battles that no one knows about and I guarantee that no adult would overcome half the obstacles. So this year I ask you to think before you judge, live one day in my child’s shoes and you will understand what a superhero really is. “

How to understand a person with autism?

Autism is a great unknown, so socially it is even disturbing. Thus,  Ángel Riviére, in 1996, made a short summary of what a person with autism would ask of us.  We bring you point by point part of this reflection below:

• Organize my world and make it easy for me to anticipate what is going to happen. Give me order, structure, not chaos.
• Respect my rhythm. You can always relate to me if you understand my needs and my special way of understanding reality. Do not get depressed, the normal thing is that I advance and develop more and more.
•  Words are “air” that is not heavy for you, but can be a very heavy burden for me. Many times they are not the best way to relate to me.
•  Let me know, in some way, when I have done things well and help me to do them without fail. When I have too many failures, what happens to you: I get irritated and end up refusing to do things.

•  We have to negotiate my rituals to live.

•  Help me understand it. Try to ask me for things that can have a concrete and decipherable meaning for me. Don’t let me get bored or idle.
•  Sometimes people are too unpredictable, too loud, too stimulating. Respect the distances I need, but without leaving me alone.
•  When I have a tantrum or hit myself, if I destroy something or move excessively, when it is difficult for me to attend or do what you ask, I am not trying to hurt you. Since I have a problem with intentions, do not attribute bad intentions to me!

•  It has its own logic and many of the behaviors that you call “altered” are ways of facing the world from my special way of being and perceiving. Make an effort to understand me.
•  My world is not complex and closed, but simple! Although what I am saying may seem strange to you, my world is so open, so open-minded or lies, so naively exposed to others, that it is difficult to penetrate it. I do not live in an “empty fortress”, but in a plain so open that it can seem inaccessible. I have much less complication than people who consider you normal.
• You don’t have to make yourself autistic to help me. The autistic is me, not you!

We have to help a person with autism to protect themselves with their shield, since they see and hear with too much intensity. We have to understand that being “rude” is not their intention, but rather that they function in a way that does not correspond to social expectations.

People with autism are not empty shells, they are people with personalities, feelings, and needs. Let’s not ask them to be “normal” , let’s try to help them and not control them, let’s work from hope to create a better world.