Sometimes The Best People Come Without You Looking For Them …

Sometimes the best people, the most beautiful, appear suddenly and without you looking for them. They come to plant flowers in the garden of our sad days, they are there to be the echo of our laughter, the magnet of our complicities, of our hobbies and passions. They are that beacon that never goes out, without contradictions, without pressure or double funds …

Neuropsychologists often remind us that our brains are hardwired to carry out pro-social behaviors. Actions such as altruism, helping others or the act of giving support are realities that we consider genetically significant and important because they guarantee, after all, the survival of our species.

However, and here undoubtedly comes the greatest dissonance or irony of humanity,  sometimes we act as true predators of our own peers. We are not referring only to those more extreme behaviors that head the headlines of the day-to-day news, we are talking first of all about those common actions that we have all experienced at some time and from which that so classic of “I want you to be happy, but no more than me ”.

Sometimes altruism has hidden interests, we know that well. Other times people fail us, we know that too. Perhaps because time changes us or because little by little the masks fall and we discover that behind that armor that fascinated us so much at first there is nothing more than a being full of voids, of multiple limitations and unfathomable selfishness.

Despite everything, among our rich and complex social fauna there are people who are not only worth it: they are worth the joy. Finding them is an art always based on the casual, but it also contains some dimensions that are worth addressing …

Good people are there, you just have to know how to see them

What traits do these men and women have capable of improving our lives? Well, we know that it is very common to use in our day to day the appealed phrase “my co-worker is a bad person” or “my sister is a very good person.” Such reductionist definitions are not always adequate, because human nature is much more complex than these very absolute terms.

Most of us are on a continuum, where we can sometimes act more or less correctly; where we can be lightly judged as “bad people” just because we do not act as others want or expect. However, yes, there are a series of key factors or dimensions that can define those noblest profiles and that ultimately do represent that ideal of goodness that we all have in mind.

. It means an identification with others, feeling compassion, acting with disinterest and having that empathy that welcomes, that confers wise support and authentic closeness. In turn, the good person is also one capable of seeing beyond the surface, beyond mere appearance.

On the other hand, and no less important, there is a factor that we cannot neglect: these magical people will come into our lives only if we are receptive. They will if we are able to see them, to appreciate their influence, their art, their natural power of connection. Experts in social behavior reveal that people have reached a point where we pay more attention to the bad qualities than the good ones.

This bias of negativity is sometimes caused by our own discomfort, by our own frustration or even by the memory of our failed relationships or disappointments. We become mistrustful, and when mistrust floats in our eyes and nests in our hearts, it will be very difficult to glimpse the warm light of those presences that are truly worth being included in our lives.

Next, :

• Non-verbal language: empathy is recognized many times by that face and those eyes that not only look, but also observe, attend and know how to connect, making us feel comfortable, safe and valued.
• The second aspect is undoubtedly the intuition itself. Our inner voice is the one who must always guide us on this path of discovery. It is she who contains the essence of our personality, the wisdom of our past experiences and that sixth sense that invites us to connect with certain people while avoiding others. Don’t hesitate to listen to that inner voice.
• Emotional energy. This dimension is as curious as it is intense, but even so, it is necessary to identify it in ourselves and analyze it. There are people who generate a certain type of emotional charge for us through their tone of voice, their gaze, their smiles, the way they communicate to us …

That feeling or emotional energy that some people generate in us is something that we must attend to and decipher (does it make me feel comfortable? Does it offer me calm and harmony? Can I really trust him / her? …). Sometimes that connection is immediate, other times that attraction has a different rhythm: it is slower, slower but equally intense. It is like an interesting treasure that we discover every day and that usually occurs especially in introverted personalities.

Be that as it may, those special people who make our lives more beautiful, interesting and special, are gifts that we all deserve and that, above all, we are obliged to take care of. Let’s do it then, always give the best version of ourselves to those special beings that give birth to our day to day.