5 Characteristics Of A Healthy Relationship

Healthy relationships enjoy an aura of permanent happiness, constant infatuation, lack of conflict … However, none of this is true. In a healthy relationship, what predominates is love and not falling in love. Conflicts, which exist, are discussed. And it’s not always all happiness. There are better moments and worse moments.

Friedrich Nietzsche once said that ” in love there is something of madness, but at the same time in madness there is always something of reason. ” Is it in this kind of reason that we can find the characteristics of a healthy relationship?

It is popularly said that when we find the loved one we go “crazy with love.” But it seems clear that in every relationship there has to be some sanity. It can be called a healthy couple, people who understand each other, or in a thousand ways. But above all we would say that it is possible to find the balance, or at least, so some experts believe.

To make this list we will base ourselves on the theories of the Catalan psychologist Encarni Muñoz. This expert in couple relationships believes that,  to have a healthy relationship, the first thing to do is listen to your own criteria. What do you need from a relationship? Can the person next to you give it to you? Let’s see.

Take responsibility for your emotional state

An important point to have a healthy relationship is that each member takes responsibility for their happiness. Thus, it is essential that love for the other starts from solid self-esteem and from having a self-esteem with a good tone that reinforces the idea that we have many valuable things to contribute to the relationship.

Remember that if you are a person who underestimates yourself, you may end up blaming or overly depending on your partner. That is why the relationship must be equal to equal, where both of you find a balance in the distribution of responsibilities.

Open the channels of communication to maintain balance

The second point on which the specialist affects has to do with the importance of communication to establish and maintain the balance that we have talked about before. For this, it is essential to use empathy and know how to open channels of active listening.

It will not always be easy, but it is necessary to always maintain a capacity for understanding the other person. So you have to understand their views and why they do what they do. We have to be flexible and tolerant, despite disagreeing. You are on the same side and your end is common.

Practice assertiveness as the best form of sincerity

A healthy relationship will never be based on lies. This is a basic point. That is why it is necessary for both parties to be sincere in the couple’s most important anchoring points. So, if there is something that bothers you, do not keep it until you are saturated and being the guardian of a lot of behaviors that have annoyed you.

Also, no matter how much our partner knows you, they do not know 100% what you think at all times. If you choose to take everything for granted, it is easy for many situations to lead to discussions and negative dynamics. So, as much as you are invested, try to be clear when expressing yourself. Nothing happens to show you vulnerable to your partners: they are people who love you.

Another aspect of assertiveness is the way you communicate those disagreements. As María Luisa Naranjo (2008) mentions in her article, when we use assertiveness to communicate, we usually use reason and this means “using language, common sense and the ability to reach agreements to resolve conflict situations. The result is well-being and self-esteem that is not impaired . “

Trust is vital

The next point that concerns us in a classic in couple relationships. If there is no trust between both parties, you can rarely find common ground for both of you. It is important that you create a positive breeding ground in which you feel confident and supported and in which you feel that the other also feels that way.

In this way, you will have the confidence that every time you need to have the other person, they will respond, supporting, helping to advance, walk and walk. Also, trust will ward off storms like those that jealousy brings. Think, if your partner loves you and you love her, what do you have to fear?

Live the present being realistic

If one or both members focus on what is to come, on changing the other person or that tomorrow will be a better husband or wife, the relationship will have little future. A healthy relationship lives in the present, in the here and now. It is good to talk about the future, but without letting yourself be ironically conditioned by ideas and expectations. What exists is the present and no matter how much we plan, everything is subject to change.

In the same way that you cannot live in the future, neither should you live in the past. Virtually all couples have had problems. However, once overcome and forgiven, leave them there. Do not take them out every time there is an argument to use them in the form of a throwing weapon or reproach. If past problems are so “serious” that we cannot leave them behind and they come to light every time there is tension, we must rethink the relationship. Many couples say they have overcome a conflict but continue to drag it out for months, even years. There are two options: work on the problem or if it is so serious, rethink the situation.

As Walter Winchell said, ” never above you, never below you, always by your side. ” So we can consider these as characteristics of a healthy relationship. Or at least, that’s how the psychologist Encarni Muñoz considers it.